What can I even say?
At this point, there is nothing more I can say…. about that, anyway.
If I could somehow convey to anybody how unbelievably frustrated I am with my body in general, I think I would feel like I could breathe easier. But anymore, the words definitely are not there. I feel that I’ve been complaining, explaining and talking about the very same problem for so long now that all possible words have been used and that it is not worth the mind power any longer to attempt to describe how much this has sucked.
You’ll have to excuse any rash emotions that come through in this post because I really don’t sleep well any longer and therefore, you are reading the thoughts of a delirious lady. For the last few nights… and then some, I’ve been waking up intermittently because, oh, I don’t know…. my foot and calf feel like they are on FIRE. Which also means that even when I am sleeping, I usually am thinking to some degree about how sore or on fire my foot is.
Long story short, there isn’t too much more that my Doctor can do for me and is now suggesting that I go to a CRPS/RSD specialist (who knew there was such a one/) down at UCLA. Apparently he treats people just like me and there is a glimmer of hope that he may be able to help me out. I don’t know when all that is going to come together, but when it does, I will let you know.
Everything else in my life is moving forward regardless of any aliments of mine. Guess what? Simon starts Kindergarten in September and Helene starts Pre-School at the same time. Which means that BOTH of my kids will be gone, at least three days a week, at the same time.
Holy.Moly. Am I excited?
Am I freaking confused that they have gone and grown up so fast one me? Uh.huh. I feel that I am being abandoned way too soon by them. I mean, I always counted on having one or two more kids, so the fact that I have had no babies to follow my Simon and Helene means that I am left on my own a lot sooner than I had anticipated. And now the big question is, “What do I do?” Who knows. I am sure I will figure it out though. And eventually, I’ll be fine with the whole situation.
I think that this marks a momentous occasion here at the Diary. This is the first, yes, the absolute first, entry that I am not going to go back and re-read and edit. I don’t want to. And I have not the time anyway. My foot has recently chimed in with it’s fiery opposition at me being seated here any longer.
Therefore, have a great Memorial Day Weekend.
I know I will!
Cuz I am going on a REAL vacation to see FRIENDS!!!!